Just To Catch Yall Up

Aight.This post might sound a little like a pity partyish and preachy,but it must be done in order for me to return to my prior blogging status.So bear with me.

Where do i start?Well ever since the end of our winter break,things have really taken a turn for the worse.It's been the same stuff from before plus new drama added on top.It's getting fucking frustrating.First i come back to school to put my little gay accusations in my right pocket.Then i put my parents kind words of not making it to college in the left one.All the letters in the mail and emails don't mean shit to them.I've even gotten a personal post card from K-State's(which is at the top of my list)people.And they send me emails everyday.My parents think you have to have a sky high GPA and be a fucking Einstein just to get into a minor major university.I know plenty of people who got into good schools and they were retards.And that's the nicest way to say it.Then I've picked up addictions here and there.I'll leave it at that.They make me feel better for a good 2 hours or so,but then I'm back to normal Delano.Bummer.There's more stuff,but I'll leave it at that.So yeah.These days I feel like an empty shell of what i used to be.No matter how much i wanna be Delano i can't seem to find him.Sometimes i wonder if Delano is gone with the people that he isolates himself from.Joshua McAfee(Delano's best friend)came back a few weeks ago.Delano was perfectly fine.I dare say....Delano Taylor was back to normal.When Delano is one on one with others,he's somewhat normal.He's somewhat happy.When Delano is with a crowd of people he's about 67% normal.Where's that other 1/3 of Delano Taylor?Sometimes I think that part is gone forever.It hurts to say that,but i wanna be honest with yall.Sometimes i blame my unhappiness on Texas.That's not fair,is it?Chea it is!I honestly think something is in the water in The Lone Star State.If you drink it after the age of 23,you're brainwashed and you stay here until you die.All the people i see that like the state of Texas are dirty as hell.I'm not no dirty nigga.Free thinkers,free spirits find a way out and they're happy.In the midst of this junior year(which seems like it'll never end),so many of my friends have moved.Close friends and not so close friends have left Texas and seem happier.I think I'm onto something.During the summers when i go and visit my dad in Florida,I came back to Texas with a tan line where my smile used to be.My Texas smile hasn't been ANYWHERE close to my Florida smile in close to about 10 months.This theory of Texas being the reason of my reason of depression has me wanting to move to Hawaii.I'm being serious.Me and my friend talked about it one night and apart from their jumping spiders,I found my future home.Lanai,Hawaii.The website says i could be enjoying clear 79 degree weather right now.It seems like my life would be a vacation and i love vacations.And my music is gonna take me there.Oh yeah i made a music page.I put like two mixes on there,which only took like 15 minutes so that the page wouldn't look bare.I got better shit in the works.So yeah I'll make it to Hawaii if it kills me.If you ask nicely I'll let you come stay the weekend.=).We can ride in my boat and listen to Shwayze.Maybe my sadness is the lack of a girl friend.I'm not looking for one though.I just want to have the feeling of being kept.I like knowing that no matter what,someone else can step in and make things better.I see lots of people just take that shit for granted too.It hurts me to see love go wasted.Not trying to sound like a love sick fool(because nobody likes them),but yeah.I'm missing Gossip Girl.Lemme wrap this up.Delano wants to be happy.He wants someone to step in and tell him everything is gonna be okay.That he will make it.That he won't be a regular ass nigga,with a regular ass job,with some regular ass friends who drink at the same regular ass bar every regular ass friday night.And after that he goes to his regular ass house with some fucked up rose bushes.After unlocking his regular ass door with uneven stain on it,he says in a regular ass voice"Hey kids with regular ass,lame ass,slave ass names!How was your day at yall's regular ass school?"And the chubby kid(every regular ass family has a chubby kid who resembles the dad's best friend rather the "actual dad")says"It was the same as regular ass yesterday."And the regular ass Delano says that's good and climbs his regular ass stairs and goes into his regular ass bedroom to find his regular ass,overweight wife.He gives her a regular ass kiss and has some regular ass sex and falls into a regular ass drunken sleep.His regular ass snores wake him up in the middle of the night.Goes back to sleep and within hours he greets another regular ass day.I don't want that.Delano isn't a regular ass name,should he be cursed with a regular ass life?