Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Another Epiphany
People,I'm confused!I had church tonite.Oh yeah,its new years eve.So yeah,I was pretty mad when I heard I was spending new years eve at church.I wanted to get fucked up(for black people,that means I wanted to get really drunk)!So yeah that's pretty messed up when u think about it.I would rather get drunk instead of go to church.So yeah,I'm pretty disappointed in myself.And I had the nerve to complain about how much time the pastor kept us over.The reason he kept everyone over was because he got everyone in the church to write out their plans for the new year and put it on the alter.Sidebar,my church numbers close to nine thousands in membership.And they had to turn people back because of fire hazard reasons.It was packed.Soo yeah,he got errbody and they mama to come down and pray.Well not everyone,just those who were willing to go down.Of course,I didn't go.Soo yadayadayda.I'm outside,remember I just got of church,singing "Bed"by J.Holiday.And the secular songs just kept rolling off my tongue!I was even cussin in church.Mainly in mind,but still!WTF!I saw many weeping and it had zero to noo affect on me.I felt gay in a sense(this is gonna be a gay analogy,but i'm straight.I love me some boobies!).Me and the guys are at a titty bar and this chick is dancing on me.Butt naked!!!Errbody else is all happy and i'm like meehhh.My dick doesn't even jump.Idk how to compare it to church,but my dick didn't jump tonite.I'm pretty mad about it.This happens everywhere I go.I always feel out of place.But the one place I should feel at home,the place I should feel like I belong....I don't.=/.Maybe it's the pressure that I feel when it comes to christianity?My grandfather is a pastor and it feels as if though he is tryin to push me down that path.He says it's the right thing to do,seeing as how I have somewhat of a gift when it comes to words.Am I trying to tell him that I don't fit the preacher mold,by acting like God....is idk,not important?Trust me,it hurts to write this stuff.My mother and father are deep in the church family.Almost all my family members are deep in the church.My little brother runs around singing church music,and he's only three!The only reason I go to church on sundays,is to get away from my stepdad(and to be treated so cici's minutes after that).Idk i'm rambling,I gotta go.Maybe you guys can help me find somethin to make my dick jump???
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Why U Hate Your Family Sooo Much(According To Scientists)
I was on yahoo news sidebar,they have the most interesting news in my opinion,and i found this study.Its on Discovery News.com.The findings are published in the latest issue of the journal Neuropsychologia.The bold stuff is me and the italics is the stuff i found important.
-- Visiting -- or even just viewing photos of family members -- prompts brain activity that affects how you feel about them, your friends, and even yourself, a new study suggests.
The study is the first to compare brain activity associated with seeing relatives with that linked to seeing friends and strangers. It suggests our feelings about biological relatives are at least somewhat primal.
The findings may help explain everything from why our family can get on our nerves to why people who look like us can spark immediate feelings of trust, "but not lust," said Steven Platek, who co-authored the study with Shelly Kemp.
"We like to be around people that look more like us, but we do not find them as sexually attractive," added Platek, editor-in-chief of the journal Frontiers in Evolutionary Neuroscience. "I think it is linked to our subconscious ability to detect facial resemblances so we avoid lusting after those that may be related to us."
Okay so what i get outta that is that we fight so that we let the other person think we aren't phyisically attracted to them.Idk,i read it earlier and it made more sense,but now its all jumbled.Video games rotted my mind lol.Well i guess i'll end it.Bye!
-- Visiting -- or even just viewing photos of family members -- prompts brain activity that affects how you feel about them, your friends, and even yourself, a new study suggests.
The study is the first to compare brain activity associated with seeing relatives with that linked to seeing friends and strangers. It suggests our feelings about biological relatives are at least somewhat primal.
The findings may help explain everything from why our family can get on our nerves to why people who look like us can spark immediate feelings of trust, "but not lust," said Steven Platek, who co-authored the study with Shelly Kemp.
"We like to be around people that look more like us, but we do not find them as sexually attractive," added Platek, editor-in-chief of the journal Frontiers in Evolutionary Neuroscience. "I think it is linked to our subconscious ability to detect facial resemblances so we avoid lusting after those that may be related to us."
Okay so what i get outta that is that we fight so that we let the other person think we aren't phyisically attracted to them.Idk,i read it earlier and it made more sense,but now its all jumbled.Video games rotted my mind lol.Well i guess i'll end it.Bye!
Myspeezey Pet Peeves
Myspace is king.No lie,I'm addicted,along with many others.I constantly find myself checkin it during the day.Most of the time,I check it on my phone.That's when I knew I reached a new low.But i'm not writing to tell people about my love of the myspeezey,as me and Joshua would say.By the way hit up his new blog.joshsfreeknowledge.blogspot.com.Stupid faggot forgot his password to his old one.Anywhoo,today I tried to put all my pet peeves on paper(i used about two pages front and back)and I noticed a lot of them came from myspace.I'll go over the major one's for now.First,I hate that when i'm on myspace on my phone,it won't say i'm online.I still get stuff,but prolly not as much as if I were showing I was online.Okay second,I hate it when people ask me to comment their pics!Like to a certain degree.Its cool if u send me a little message that mentions it,but not flat out,"Go and comment my pics,or we ain't friends no more!"What's the significance of a photo comment?Does it say,"Hey errbody,I got people lookin at my pictures"?Is that cool now?I mean,what happened to regular comments?Those are better tooo me.And if u ask me to comment your pics,it won't be my true feelings!Lets play out a scenario!If Bob asks Joe to comment Bob's pic,the comment would be like,"Hahahahaha you're a faggot!"But if Bob plays it cool and just doesn't say anything,Joe will stumble upon his pics and his comment might go like this."You know Bob,i've had somethin on my chest for awhile and now ima say it.I love me some you.From your tight ass to your face that looks as if God chisled it himself!I wanna be on u!"Now which one would you want?Don't answer that.That's the only way I could break it down too let u understand.I couldn't get the words out,but anyway...It irks me when people post bulletins or status updates that's like,"Comment my pics and i'll return the favor!"Nobody cares really!Shit's annoying!Also,I didn't really like the fan signs for awhile,but those didn't last long.I grew a lil fond of em',but meehhh.I hate it when people add a song to their page,but they get it from a bootleg page that's not the artist's.I mean,if the person doesn't have the song on their page,more power to ya!But if they do have the song,why not just add the official one?I hate it when people have a layout,but its mucho bootleg lookin!Take pride in your work!I hate it when people make a big deal about not bein on my top,or if they're too low.My top hasn't been good in a good coupla months!I just threw some people on there and moved people around just to satisfy a few kids.But yeah that's it.I gotta end this.I feel like writing some deep shit!Love,peace,and chicken grease!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
09' Is Gonna Be Different
I thought i should just let u know.I'm f@#*#@g s*#t up.No more cussin either(yeah like that'll last).I haven't been blogging because i'm on vacation.I hate texas sooo much rite now.Christmas was great...all the stuff in louisiana is great rite now,even though its raining.This is a boring blog to write and prolly to read no lie.This stuff has to be said though before i forget it.I don't do this blogging stuff for others enteratainment soo much,but more as a personal journal to gather my thoughts for others to see and soo i don't forget lol!I'm tired of being depressed.None of that anymore.And every person's myspace page says,"2008 was the worst year of my life."Oh yeah i forgot,:(.It prolly was,but for some it was over-reaction.My synopsis of 08' was somewhat of an over-reaction.Everybody says,"I don't even know myself anymore!":(.Some people are still the same,others not soo much.I have changed alot this past year.Outward and inward.I ended 07' in baggy jeans and a XL polo.Ima end 08' in skinny jeans and a medium zoo york tee.I even skated al little in 08'.Like fifteen mins.,but thats a major step seeing that i quit in 5th grade because i cared what others thought.Thats how i changed the most this year really.Fuck a hater,i'm on my shit was/is my motto.I started 08' shy,ended it fly.In the middle of 08',i was mean to girls(because thats cool),now i'm what some refer to as a sweetheart.I do have my moments,but for the most part i'm good.Sooo yeah alotta newness in me.I feel that God put me through alot this year to make me a better me.After all the stuff i do wrong,i learn a lesson.All those lessons turn me into a better person.Soo if i gotta go thru stuff to make me the best,bring it.08' brought me friendships from many unpredictable places.I know alotta different people and i think 09' is gonna be 2x crazier.In early 08',i only tlkd to people i thought were cool,later i tlkd to everyone and now i got more friends.Idk why i'm sayin all this,but like i said before,its gotta be done!No new years resoulution because those never last.Oh yeah i made no cussing mine.There's a reason for that(because it won't last).Damn my fingers hurt.08' i stopped being ignorant.In too many ways to explain but mostly racially.I will date any race of a girl.In the dark,we're all the same color!Lmfao!!Hit me up girls =D!This is gettin too confusing and ima end it.If i have anymore thoughts,i'll post it!I'll end by saying,i love being different.So i'll be different.08' was the best year of my life.This year taught me how to be a better child,sibling,student,friend,lover(lol not really),father(through the mistakes of others),..shit,because of 08' Ima better person!!!After everything thrown at me,i still stand as the happiest 16 yr old you'll ever meet.Thanks to great friends and this mind God blessed me with,i made lemons into beef stew!Idk how to end it sooo kljdsfdjklssfljkd!!!!!!!!!!
Louisiana,Safe Haven For A Horny Drunk
Being in louisiana for four days now,i've noticed a few things.First off,in this little big town called Alexandria,there are alotta attractive people here.Fine women,especially white girls(young and old).The black girls are mostly loud and ugly.But there are some quiet,lighter complexioned ones who catch my eye.Anyways,beautiful people everywhere.Next thing I noticed,alotta gay guys here too.There was one who rung me up at old navy.I knew he wanted to tlk to me when I walked in the store because his face lit up.Soo when the time came to purchase my shirt and jacket,he started with the small tlk.Where I went to school,what grade I was in,if I was single.Chea,it went there.I had to decline the guy,on the basis that he wasn't my type because he was a guy.I told him I was flattered though.Next thing is that there are drive thru's for alcohol.They have an open container law,but who cares I guess.In louisiana,most women always have their hair done.Its not uncommon to see a well pampered lady followed by a well pampered little girl.Or a boy with a fresh cut.All the kids here are different.U don't see tooo many kids with fresh shoes or nothing.They have the basics.I tlkd to a black skater here and he told me that nobody trips on how they look clothes wise here.I went to pac-sun and i had to dig to find skinny jeans.That's strange too me,but alotta people think skinnys are strange soo idk.Also in louisiana,church is life,as it should beee duh!My grandpa is the pastor of one of the biggest churches in the area soo its even more for me when I visit.There is more but I got a serious brain fart!!All that's goin on in my brain rite now is sleep.Sooo bye!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Kids!!!Can Live With Em',Sometimes Rather Live Without Em'
I fuckin hate little kids!!!Not really,but rite now I'm in a doo-doo-eh mood.My two little cousins,my little sister,and my little brother are the one's shittin on my parade rite now.It all started this morning,but I'll skip to the main part.Sooo today is the day after christmas.Basically,one of the biggest shopping days of the year.Sooo first we were gonna go to the mall here in louisiana.But noooo we can't go because we got a million little kids with us!I felt like a member of bay-bay's kids,seriously!So instead we just go to old navy,where I got a gift card to.So we're in there and I don't see a damn thang!I mean there was this bubble jacket I was feelin,but not feelin enough to give up my whole gift card for.Soo I just sat on a bench in the front of the store.Sooon after,there were a group of bad kids surronding me.Of course,my siblings.Soo we're sittin and then my little girl cousin decides to scale a glass window.One of the sale signs stuck to the window broke,so like one side was hangin down,while the other side was up.GHETTO!!!!!So I muttered some sailor words and pretended to look at some jeans.After that,I went back and sat on the bench.Soon after taking a seat,the bootleg sign falls on the top of my head!The weight of the sign and people's stares feel on my back,and I didn't like it all!After folding it up and throwing it on some sweaters,I fell back onto the bench.I had to tell myself that everything is okay,and I wasn't gonna lose my cool in this store.After holding back my tears,I notice that my little cousin,Baby T,was running around the store.It comes to shock when seconds before he sitting in a stroller buckled in.After running around and scooping him up from beneath a table,I ask my sister,"How did he get out?"And she says,"I let him out."ghdjhdjhdjshcd!!!!Do u see what I have to deal with!!!Stupidity too the highest degree!I mean why didn't u chase him?Why did u let him out?Why don't I just kill u in your sleep,huh?!?!?I didn't ask her any of this?Because the next word would have been the invention of a new cuss word(jibberish)!I'm kinda found of raphucknishblagah!Soo I ask my grandma for the keys to the car and I load everyone in there.Yadayadayda and we're at game stop.So i'm tryin to get Madden 09.But it took forever to get out of the car because I had heavy opposition from sister,who was tryin to tag her happy ass along.After losing her in traffic,I bust in into Game Stop to find the line starting at the door.They were having a huge sale.Soo i'm lookin and I find Madden and as I walk to the one of the many lines,my grandmother comes and says,"We gotta go,your cousin has to pee."The same one who broke the sign fyi!Raphucknishblagah!!!Soo we go across the street to Wal-Mart.In that short twenty second drive,I was hit in the head,spit on,and Baby T bit me!Soo as I wait for my slow sister to get out,Baby T threw up EVERYWHERE!!!!I'll admit I threw a BF(bitch fit)in the parking lot.I might add,a tear fell out of my eye.Soo we run in the store to prevent an accident,but there soo many obstacles in the way!There were people everywhere,aisle after aisle was blocked off,and one of the bathrooms was closed.Only the girls one I might add!Its nothing but the devil!Soo we run to the back of the store where she finally goes to the bathroom.Sigh!We head back to the car and now i'm typing on my phone!Sooo yeah this helped a bit,but pray I don't kill those kids!!!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
MY FIRST EVER TRIP TO THE WASHATERIA!!!!!!!!!
It was crazy fun.Idk why but it released alot of negative energy i was having.I first got there and people were givin me salty look,lawry's lol.I think its because i was over dressed as usual.Everyone else was wearing sweats and skull caps and i was wearing a cardigan,a graphic tee,and some jeans.I thought that my wearing of a skull cap would include me in the gang,but i was wrong.Its like grade school all over again!Jk jk.Back to the story,i went and got some quarters.The machine said,"use quater machine at your own risk,"but i was feeling dangerous.So i put the ten dollar bill in and got my quarters.So then i picked out my machines.Got three for myself and they were the newest ones in there.So i started washing clothes and was myspacin on my phone.After that transfered the clothes to the dryer and folded them.Not much happened there.I was runnin around with my sister,roasting each other and txtn.It was a fun expierience and i took pics.Idk what else to say,soo bye!!!!!!
Monday, December 22, 2008
The Joys Of Christmas Shopping
I f#@*(^g hate christmas shopping!It seems during this time people drive worse,every line is longer(especially the bathroom),and it feels like everywhere i go,a giant heat wave is getting a piggy back ride from me.One time at macy's,this old lady was all on me in the line and she smelt like 30+yrs of moth ball build up.And she breathed like she was having an asthma attack.Every time i walked somewhere,somebody was on my heels....LITERALLY!!!!My shoe came off a combined 8 times,simply from people walking on the back of it.While in Express,this lady saw me eyeing a v-neck she wanted i guess and swooped in like an eagle,snatching it out my hand.And then she gave me the stink eye while i was giving her the stink eye.Thats never happened to me before.I was actually shell shocked after that.And how do u simmer down after something so tramatic as that???By going to Golden Coral of course.If u don't know i hate that place more than X-Mas shopping.So yeah,after a few spills from my brother and a minor communication error between my mom and our waitress,I managed to escape from that hell hole.Went home and watched some movies to make it all better.Sooo yeah
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Them Niggers Got My Sister
So the other day i was just chillen at my house tlkn to my sister about our progress reports.We both failed multiple classes,but hers were waaayyy worse than mine.Jesus,please watch over that child!Anyways,i asked her what was the main reason for her failures.She immediately responded,"Because my teacher is racist!"Those words hung in the air for what felt like hours.So i came back out of my "I can't believe she just said that daze" and say,"Excuse me???"I seriously thought she was joking,i mean u don't hear an eleven year old say that their teacher is racist every day.So she says,"My teacher,Mr.D,he's racist.He doesn't like black kids."My sister has way worse grammar than mine,i just couldn't bear myself to type that way.Back to the story.So i say,"Ummmm okay what makes him racist???"Of course,like any other kid who pulls tha race card,she says,"Just because he is.He gives all the white and asian kids better grades and all the black kids are failing.And he always tells(insert ghetto named kid's name hear)to shut up.He almost cussed her out today blah blah blah!"I cut her off for the fear of my head exploding from such bs.I replied,"Well first,asians are really smart pretty almost all the time.White kids are also smarter than blacks for the most part.Judging how u just tlkd to me and how many times u said "be" in between words,i would fail u too.I always hear u tlkn to mom about how u(once again insert ghetto black kid's name here)are tlkn in class and picking on the kid who has downs syndrome......"Basically i gave a fatherly tlk and it didn't help.All i'm sayin is don't pull the race card.There are very few cases in which u can back it up,but for the most part,you're left looking ignorant.My third grade teacher was somewhat racist.She had never taught a black student until she had cute,innocent me.She told my parents halfway thru the year and after that everythang was cool.I always wondered why she would cringe whenever i came to her desk to turn in work or even say hi(i was,am,and always will be a social butterfly).Or why she would make me read whenever slaves or inner city kids lines came up in a book or play.Totally off subject my bad.So yeah,race card...bad.Racial equality....good =D
B.o.B Autotune Spoof
This dude actually can rap.Add him on myspace.I love his impersonation of weezy in the verse lmao
Update
Hey there!Srry my blogger faithfuls,i took a little break.I've been really tired and caught up in school lately and i kinda neglected my blog.My bad.Umm quick updates.My dryer is broke.I can only dry clothes on cold temperature,which extends the drying time by at least an hour.Me and my mom have been beefin about stuff lately.She made a comment saying that she doesn't know if i'll make it to college with grades like mine.Gave her the silent treatment,the stink eye,and a very loud memorable argument(that i totally won)and now we're cool again.Break is tomorrow and i think i can actually chill and stuff soo hit me up.Idk if i'll get my phone back.Until i get further notification,don't hit me up cuz you'll be tlkn to my dad.So yeah everythang's good in tha hood.Ttyl!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Coldest Winter By:MEEEEEEE
Before I start,i wanna say that i'm adding something new to my blogger page.I will start posting poetry on here.If u got something u wanna share with the world,bringing it to me will start u on the right track.
Memories made in the coldest winter
Memories of times much more simpler
Memories of the great people from my past
The beginning of the end of things i wanted to last
Confusion in every direction i turn
Visions of good things starting to blur
If I had one wish,I would make some people burn
I openly wish death on people,but no one's concerned
I think I just want someone to care
Someone to let me know that they're aware
I got a few people,but that's not enough
I want the whole world to know life is tough
Why is it every time I'm up,somebody brings me down
Why am I sad,isn't Santa coming to town
2008 started with soooo much promise
And now 08' is the worst year of my life,I promise
Everyday is Halloween,clothing is my disguise
I cover myself up from sundown to sunrise
2008 put my mind in a haze
Maybe 09' will bring better days
Memories made in the coldest winter
Memories of times much more simpler
Memories of the great people from my past
The beginning of the end of things i wanted to last
Confusion in every direction i turn
Visions of good things starting to blur
If I had one wish,I would make some people burn
I openly wish death on people,but no one's concerned
I think I just want someone to care
Someone to let me know that they're aware
I got a few people,but that's not enough
I want the whole world to know life is tough
Why is it every time I'm up,somebody brings me down
Why am I sad,isn't Santa coming to town
2008 started with soooo much promise
And now 08' is the worst year of my life,I promise
Everyday is Halloween,clothing is my disguise
I cover myself up from sundown to sunrise
2008 put my mind in a haze
Maybe 09' will bring better days
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Pics U Need To See!!!!!!!!!
Once upon another blog post,i said that when i see myself smile in pics,i could see that it was fake.Well these pics are from a time before that.I posted this pics on myspace and i felt sad because when these pics were taken,things were pefect.I had a good best friend,a good gurlfriend,i was gettin invited to all tha partys,and me and my parents were close.What tha hell happened =(?????
Questions I Need Answered
Just wanna show u what goes thru my mind all the time.Hope i don't do any structural damage.
Why do i continue with this??What does this blogging accomplish??Is it the best thing to have my life like a storybook and add a new page daily???I know i have people who tell me they read this thing but is it because i ask them too???If i were to die rite now i wonder how many people would come to my funeral.Would i be looking up or down on my funeral??People say i'm mean,including my mom(that one hurt),but will that have any effect on my heavenly outcome???I'm not gonna edit this post.I wonder how many typos i will have??I wonder what is the ratio of people who go to heaven over the people who go to hell.I would think it wouldn't be that high on the hell side of it.But it depends on how God sees it.I wonder where i'm going.If people who already now for sure that they're goin to heaven,why do they try to prolong their stay on earth???If heaven is so great people would say,"Doctor,just pull the plug."alot more than they do now.Or would they.I think people are afraid of death because they don't really know where they are going.I know i don't really know.I wonder if i'm doing the rite things.Is quiting golf and spanish really as bad as my parents say it is???Do i really have a reason to be sad???My dad is somewhat abusive in my eyes and many others.Do they just say he is just to agree with me??Just so i can feel accepted???I broke up with my girlfriend even though i had her believing we could make this work.Am i bad for leading her straight into heartbreak???Did i break her heart just soo she couldn't break mine???Yes.My bestfriend is gone.Is that a good reason to be mad???Is that a good reason to be bitter???Do i wear fancy and fly clothes just to cover up the shitty person on the inside???Do i rock oversized shades just hide the pain in my eyes???Is that why when i tlk to people,i can't look them in the face???Is that truly a sign of how weak i am???How feeble i am???Well according to my dad....yes.Is he really as educated as he says he is???Is he really as bad as i say he is??Do i unfairly judge him???Is it fair that he is a full time college student,while my mom is working and going to UNT(by the way she graduates in about 13 hours)???He says he suffered depression when he worked.That can be justified.When he worked,he started acting different.The man i used to call dad slowly faded away with all my other great memories.Do i have any clean laundry???Damn i'm hungry.Do i have an eating disorder???I always hear people say,"everytime i see u,ur eatin something."I know my physics teacher hates me for that.I always eat her class.Am i a bully???I know i verbally bully people when i want to but i try to restrain.How long am i gonna keep up this "new me" act before i finally start puttin my hands on girls again???Before i start to call them out of their names again???I think God forgot a screw in me or something.Why do i think so much???Why do i have so many more questions that i can't even fit on this blog???Why do my fingers hurt???Will running away to college in New York make me feel free like i want to??Is my aunt right by saying that i need to stay close to home???Does she just want to not see me go???Or is she tryin some kinda reverse mind trick thing to get me away??Why can't i spell anymore??Why did i feel smarter in elementary skool than i do know???Why are numbers and letter used to show your intelligence level???I know i'm smarter than my report card.Why is it that whenever my dad builds something,it is the most raggady piece of shit i've ever seen???Why can't i spell???WHY CAN'T I SPELL???Why is that when i get in cold weather i get dizzy???Why is it that my anemic cousin says that happens to him,but nobody listens when i say it???Why do people say i just want attention???Do i only want attention???No i don't think soo.Why do i enjoy the company of myself rather than the company of others???Why is masturbation on the brain???Why was that so funny???I'm done passing time i'll smell u later.I tried to end this so long ago but words kept coming out.Delano's word of the month:Confusion
Why do i continue with this??What does this blogging accomplish??Is it the best thing to have my life like a storybook and add a new page daily???I know i have people who tell me they read this thing but is it because i ask them too???If i were to die rite now i wonder how many people would come to my funeral.Would i be looking up or down on my funeral??People say i'm mean,including my mom(that one hurt),but will that have any effect on my heavenly outcome???I'm not gonna edit this post.I wonder how many typos i will have??I wonder what is the ratio of people who go to heaven over the people who go to hell.I would think it wouldn't be that high on the hell side of it.But it depends on how God sees it.I wonder where i'm going.If people who already now for sure that they're goin to heaven,why do they try to prolong their stay on earth???If heaven is so great people would say,"Doctor,just pull the plug."alot more than they do now.Or would they.I think people are afraid of death because they don't really know where they are going.I know i don't really know.I wonder if i'm doing the rite things.Is quiting golf and spanish really as bad as my parents say it is???Do i really have a reason to be sad???My dad is somewhat abusive in my eyes and many others.Do they just say he is just to agree with me??Just so i can feel accepted???I broke up with my girlfriend even though i had her believing we could make this work.Am i bad for leading her straight into heartbreak???Did i break her heart just soo she couldn't break mine???Yes.My bestfriend is gone.Is that a good reason to be mad???Is that a good reason to be bitter???Do i wear fancy and fly clothes just to cover up the shitty person on the inside???Do i rock oversized shades just hide the pain in my eyes???Is that why when i tlk to people,i can't look them in the face???Is that truly a sign of how weak i am???How feeble i am???Well according to my dad....yes.Is he really as educated as he says he is???Is he really as bad as i say he is??Do i unfairly judge him???Is it fair that he is a full time college student,while my mom is working and going to UNT(by the way she graduates in about 13 hours)???He says he suffered depression when he worked.That can be justified.When he worked,he started acting different.The man i used to call dad slowly faded away with all my other great memories.Do i have any clean laundry???Damn i'm hungry.Do i have an eating disorder???I always hear people say,"everytime i see u,ur eatin something."I know my physics teacher hates me for that.I always eat her class.Am i a bully???I know i verbally bully people when i want to but i try to restrain.How long am i gonna keep up this "new me" act before i finally start puttin my hands on girls again???Before i start to call them out of their names again???I think God forgot a screw in me or something.Why do i think so much???Why do i have so many more questions that i can't even fit on this blog???Why do my fingers hurt???Will running away to college in New York make me feel free like i want to??Is my aunt right by saying that i need to stay close to home???Does she just want to not see me go???Or is she tryin some kinda reverse mind trick thing to get me away??Why can't i spell anymore??Why did i feel smarter in elementary skool than i do know???Why are numbers and letter used to show your intelligence level???I know i'm smarter than my report card.Why is it that whenever my dad builds something,it is the most raggady piece of shit i've ever seen???Why can't i spell???WHY CAN'T I SPELL???Why is that when i get in cold weather i get dizzy???Why is it that my anemic cousin says that happens to him,but nobody listens when i say it???Why do people say i just want attention???Do i only want attention???No i don't think soo.Why do i enjoy the company of myself rather than the company of others???Why is masturbation on the brain???Why was that so funny???I'm done passing time i'll smell u later.I tried to end this so long ago but words kept coming out.Delano's word of the month:Confusion
Make My Day Live(Common feat. Cee-Lo)
I luv how both of these guys sound exactly the same live as they do when they record.
Friday, December 12, 2008
The Cd That Took Three Days And Two Computers To Make
So this post is mainly for Melody Choi.Heyy cutie how are u?!?!?!But yeah u other people can read it if u want!
Day One:I finally manage to make the best playlist ever on iTunes.So then i pop in the blank disk.As i sat for about 4 mins.,i finally realize that nothing is happening.So i eject the disk,wipe it off,and put the disk back in the CPU.Another two mins. and then nothing happens.Then i mutter some profanity under my breath and repeated with the ejecting,and the wiping,and the re-insertion,and the wating,and the profanity(except this time it was way louder).After cursing a bit,and a stumped my toe from my stomping,i give up for the day and logged onto myspace.
Day Two:I log onto the commputer and i try to burn the playlist again.I then download all these system updates and stuff.Still no burning(still loud cursing).So then i go to Windows Media Player and try my luck there.Remember,u can't take songs off an iPod.Legally that is lol.I did this sorta computer hacker thing i learned and took some songs off.Fyi when u do that,the songs title's are a combination of four letters.I just took all the songs off of certain cds.So remember when u listen to this cd,i only had about 70 songs to work with,compared to the 700+ on my iPod.So i took the songs off the iPod and put them in my music folder.Then i went to Windows Media Player and made a playlist.It wasn't as good as the original,but it'll do.Then i pressed the burn button.Still no cd but progress is made.When i pressed the "burn" key,my computer growled at me so that has to mean something.The growling was interrupted by what sounded like gunshots.Then a message appeared saying that i needed to clean the disk or use another brand of cd's.So i got another brand new cd,different brand and popped it in.Still nothing.So i used another cd.During the time i waited for the cd to finish,i had to bath my little brother.So i ran off for about 10 mins and came back to see an open try with a cd sitting in it."YAAAYYY,the cd worked,"i yelled.I immediately ran to my room and popped it in my stereo waiting for the booming sound to kick in.Nothing.So i quit for the day.
Day Three:I wanted this cd out of my life.After i finished gettin fresh for the day(i don't get dressed anymore),i ran to my computer and worked on the cd.After the same things happened on my computer from the past two days,i decided to get my dad's laptop.It could burn cds,but the next obstacle was gettin the music to his computer.As i tore up my room(mainly under my bed),i found a bootleg jump drive from last year.I found a cd too(this would end up being the cd u have now).Soo i tried to put the music on the jump drive,but didn't work.I think God was secretly tellin me to go to skool,because at this point,skool started 20 mins ago.So i walked to skool while doing some hw,and started the rest of my day.
The Night Of Day Three:I was determined to get this cd knocked out of the way.As i sat in the office of my house,i got all my stuff together.House computer,laptop,and many cds.Oh yeah,a root-beer and a Hershey's bar.=D.As i set out to work,things seemed to be easier.I was more relaxed and everything.I found a way to put the songs on the jump drive.Then i got them to the laptop.And then Windows Media Player didn't work.U....G....H!So i just started clicking on random music programs,until i stumbled upon this program called roxio cd creator.So i uploaded the playlist and pressed burn and in mins the cd was done.I hardly believed that this had actually happened.I think i thought the cd would come out the victor and i would be in its dust wiping myself off.But i won.I won!I stood up and started dancing.After a few confused looks from mi madre,i dashed to my room,slammed the cd in,and pressed play.Sound came out.Music came out.Shwayze was filling my room with his rhymes.Thats when i knew i had officially one the battle against the cd from hell.I started getting crazy and thinkin maybe the devil didn't want u to get the cd.But then i stopped.I had gotten close to the end of the cd and i listened.And then i yelled,"I didn't put this song here!Mother F@#$%r!"This cd actually beat me.It beat me so bad that it made me think i won!The only thing restraining me from breaking the cd that moments before brought me soooo much joy in half,was the thoughts of all the hell i went through to maked it.So i calmed down,put it in my backpack,and made me a sandwhich.
I went through all that for one cd.I'm not mad at u or anything for puttin me through that.I hope i didn't come off that way.I just wanted to tell u and i wanna add that i wouldn't do that for just anyone.
Peace And Much Love To Ya
Day One:I finally manage to make the best playlist ever on iTunes.So then i pop in the blank disk.As i sat for about 4 mins.,i finally realize that nothing is happening.So i eject the disk,wipe it off,and put the disk back in the CPU.Another two mins. and then nothing happens.Then i mutter some profanity under my breath and repeated with the ejecting,and the wiping,and the re-insertion,and the wating,and the profanity(except this time it was way louder).After cursing a bit,and a stumped my toe from my stomping,i give up for the day and logged onto myspace.
Day Two:I log onto the commputer and i try to burn the playlist again.I then download all these system updates and stuff.Still no burning(still loud cursing).So then i go to Windows Media Player and try my luck there.Remember,u can't take songs off an iPod.Legally that is lol.I did this sorta computer hacker thing i learned and took some songs off.Fyi when u do that,the songs title's are a combination of four letters.I just took all the songs off of certain cds.So remember when u listen to this cd,i only had about 70 songs to work with,compared to the 700+ on my iPod.So i took the songs off the iPod and put them in my music folder.Then i went to Windows Media Player and made a playlist.It wasn't as good as the original,but it'll do.Then i pressed the burn button.Still no cd but progress is made.When i pressed the "burn" key,my computer growled at me so that has to mean something.The growling was interrupted by what sounded like gunshots.Then a message appeared saying that i needed to clean the disk or use another brand of cd's.So i got another brand new cd,different brand and popped it in.Still nothing.So i used another cd.During the time i waited for the cd to finish,i had to bath my little brother.So i ran off for about 10 mins and came back to see an open try with a cd sitting in it."YAAAYYY,the cd worked,"i yelled.I immediately ran to my room and popped it in my stereo waiting for the booming sound to kick in.Nothing.So i quit for the day.
Day Three:I wanted this cd out of my life.After i finished gettin fresh for the day(i don't get dressed anymore),i ran to my computer and worked on the cd.After the same things happened on my computer from the past two days,i decided to get my dad's laptop.It could burn cds,but the next obstacle was gettin the music to his computer.As i tore up my room(mainly under my bed),i found a bootleg jump drive from last year.I found a cd too(this would end up being the cd u have now).Soo i tried to put the music on the jump drive,but didn't work.I think God was secretly tellin me to go to skool,because at this point,skool started 20 mins ago.So i walked to skool while doing some hw,and started the rest of my day.
The Night Of Day Three:I was determined to get this cd knocked out of the way.As i sat in the office of my house,i got all my stuff together.House computer,laptop,and many cds.Oh yeah,a root-beer and a Hershey's bar.=D.As i set out to work,things seemed to be easier.I was more relaxed and everything.I found a way to put the songs on the jump drive.Then i got them to the laptop.And then Windows Media Player didn't work.U....G....H!So i just started clicking on random music programs,until i stumbled upon this program called roxio cd creator.So i uploaded the playlist and pressed burn and in mins the cd was done.I hardly believed that this had actually happened.I think i thought the cd would come out the victor and i would be in its dust wiping myself off.But i won.I won!I stood up and started dancing.After a few confused looks from mi madre,i dashed to my room,slammed the cd in,and pressed play.Sound came out.Music came out.Shwayze was filling my room with his rhymes.Thats when i knew i had officially one the battle against the cd from hell.I started getting crazy and thinkin maybe the devil didn't want u to get the cd.But then i stopped.I had gotten close to the end of the cd and i listened.And then i yelled,"I didn't put this song here!Mother F@#$%r!"This cd actually beat me.It beat me so bad that it made me think i won!The only thing restraining me from breaking the cd that moments before brought me soooo much joy in half,was the thoughts of all the hell i went through to maked it.So i calmed down,put it in my backpack,and made me a sandwhich.
I went through all that for one cd.I'm not mad at u or anything for puttin me through that.I hope i didn't come off that way.I just wanted to tell u and i wanna add that i wouldn't do that for just anyone.
Peace And Much Love To Ya
Thursday, December 11, 2008
First Morning Post
Yeah its 8:24 and skool starts at 9.I really don't feel like goin rite now.I plan on leaving at 8:50.I could care less if i'm late.And i gotta wait till i finish burning melody's cd.This is the hardest cd i've ever had to make simply because my computer was a fag in its past life.Ummm idk fdjkslafjksalf bye!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
WTF
I saw this on Lettermen but i thought it was a joke.I guess not huh????I made it half way through this video before i totally killed myself with laughter.Is America's creativity level this low???
Daily Swaggerificness
Today must be Computer Act Retarded Day,because my computer is....well u know.Ummmm today was a good day and i'm really writin this to put out a plan or i guess u could call it a mandate.From now on,i'm gonna be swaggerific everyday.I know its gonna be hard but i've gotten lazy recently.I started the year pretty good but alotta stuff happened and some days i didn't care wut i looked like when i left tha house.Today was a small step forward but i noticed i started slippin tha day before yesterday.I looked myself in the mirror and said,"Delano,wut tha hell are u doin?"So rite after that i put on my skinny jeans and went to Burger King.I just noticed that i eat alot.People say it,but i don't pay them any attention.So yeah ima try and be fresh everyday and i hope u compliment me one day.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Update
So the other day i said i was back,but i never fully explained my short little break away.Ummm i'll start by saying that last week was somewhat of an eventful week.My best friend,Josh,moved to Arizona.When i first heard the news i didn't know what to say or think.I immediately went to my stereo and popped a cd in.I just took a cd off the top of it so it was a mystery to what would come on.Of course,it was 808's.So i sat there and thought and listened and thought.I think better with music on.My first emotion was confusion because i knew Josh had it pretty rough at home,but i wondered what finally made him tick.After i messaged him and found out i stumbled upon anger.I wanted to yell"HOW THA HELL ARE U GONNA LEAVE ME HERE WITH THESE PEOPLE.U R THA ONE PERSON WHO TRULY UNDERSTANDS ME AND YOU'RE GONNA UP AND LEAVE ME???(Gay,I know)"After gettin that outta tha way,depression hit me pretty hard.And then tired sleepyness.So i saw him the next day and wished him good-bye and all that stuff.Then a few days later,i ended my 14 month relationship with my girlfriend.Ummm that was really hard,but i think the relationship ran its course.Her parents won that fight.I dedicated"Heartless"to her mother after that.I really don't think her daughter will found anyone better than me.She'll know that when she sees me on tv one day.She'll realize that she really fucked it up for her daughter.Srry i couldn't help but use a lil profanity there.So yeah i didn't really fell like goin in depth there but thats just a quick overview of what happened last week and i'm preparin for the coldest winter.
Monday, December 8, 2008
I'm Baaaaaacccccckkkk!!!!!
Srry for the wait but my computers have been bootleg for awhile.My main computer went down about 9 months ago and then my dad's laptop went down about a week ago.But now i got tha main computer back and everything is all good.
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