Questions I Need Answered

Just wanna show u what goes thru my mind all the time.Hope i don't do any structural damage.

Why do i continue with this??What does this blogging accomplish??Is it the best thing to have my life like a storybook and add a new page daily???I know i have people who tell me they read this thing but is it because i ask them too???If i were to die rite now i wonder how many people would come to my funeral.Would i be looking up or down on my funeral??People say i'm mean,including my mom(that one hurt),but will that have any effect on my heavenly outcome???I'm not gonna edit this post.I wonder how many typos i will have??I wonder what is the ratio of people who go to heaven over the people who go to hell.I would think it wouldn't be that high on the hell side of it.But it depends on how God sees it.I wonder where i'm going.If people who already now for sure that they're goin to heaven,why do they try to prolong their stay on earth???If heaven is so great people would say,"Doctor,just pull the plug."alot more than they do now.Or would they.I think people are afraid of death because they don't really know where they are going.I know i don't really know.I wonder if i'm doing the rite things.Is quiting golf and spanish really as bad as my parents say it is???Do i really have a reason to be sad???My dad is somewhat abusive in my eyes and many others.Do they just say he is just to agree with me??Just so i can feel accepted???I broke up with my girlfriend even though i had her believing we could make this work.Am i bad for leading her straight into heartbreak???Did i break her heart just soo she couldn't break mine???Yes.My bestfriend is gone.Is that a good reason to be mad???Is that a good reason to be bitter???Do i wear fancy and fly clothes just to cover up the shitty person on the inside???Do i rock oversized shades just hide the pain in my eyes???Is that why when i tlk to people,i can't look them in the face???Is that truly a sign of how weak i am???How feeble i am???Well according to my dad....yes.Is he really as educated as he says he is???Is he really as bad as i say he is??Do i unfairly judge him???Is it fair that he is a full time college student,while my mom is working and going to UNT(by the way she graduates in about 13 hours)???He says he suffered depression when he worked.That can be justified.When he worked,he started acting different.The man i used to call dad slowly faded away with all my other great memories.Do i have any clean laundry???Damn i'm hungry.Do i have an eating disorder???I always hear people say,"everytime i see u,ur eatin something."I know my physics teacher hates me for that.I always eat her class.Am i a bully???I know i verbally bully people when i want to but i try to restrain.How long am i gonna keep up this "new me" act before i finally start puttin my hands on girls again???Before i start to call them out of their names again???I think God forgot a screw in me or something.Why do i think so much???Why do i have so many more questions that i can't even fit on this blog???Why do my fingers hurt???Will running away to college in New York make me feel free like i want to??Is my aunt right by saying that i need to stay close to home???Does she just want to not see me go???Or is she tryin some kinda reverse mind trick thing to get me away??Why can't i spell anymore??Why did i feel smarter in elementary skool than i do know???Why are numbers and letter used to show your intelligence level???I know i'm smarter than my report card.Why is it that whenever my dad builds something,it is the most raggady piece of shit i've ever seen???Why can't i spell???WHY CAN'T I SPELL???Why is that when i get in cold weather i get dizzy???Why is it that my anemic cousin says that happens to him,but nobody listens when i say it???Why do people say i just want attention???Do i only want attention???No i don't think soo.Why do i enjoy the company of myself rather than the company of others???Why is masturbation on the brain???Why was that so funny???I'm done passing time i'll smell u later.I tried to end this so long ago but words kept coming out.Delano's word of the month:Confusion